I'm joined today by Kate Phelan and Johann Kurtz to debate the question 'should we encourage our sons to be masculine?' Kate is a lecturer at RMIT University in Melbourne and the author of a recent book titled 'Feminism, Defeated.' Johann is the author of the Substack 'Becoming Noble.'
Do we really need to encourage it? If boys are allowed to be natural, masculinity will manifest on its own. Maybe the real task isn’t to push them toward it, but simply to stop discouraging it
This is the best and most reasonable take. A complete middle ground.
60 years ago we went too far and forced masculinity too much, encouraging it too far. Recently it swung the other way to the point of actively discouraging it. I think you’re right, there’s a reasonable middle ground where if you just let boys be, that’s the ideal amount of encouragement since most will end up somewhat masculine anyway.
It also allows for boys who aren’t inherently masculine to be themselves too and it’s fine if a minority of boys are slightly more feminine in disposition. We should just let them be too.
Should we encourage our daughters to be feminine? YES
The second question should be debated, and in that debate we should investigate why some mothers put their daughters on the pill in their teens. Suppressing female fertility is a silent phenomenon that has not been fully evaluated.
I think mothers, fathers, and others in boys' lives need to make a clear distinction between Classic Masculinity and Toxic Masculinity.
Classic appeals to boys' and men's innate drive to protect, provide, achieve mastery, and be capable. My husband is a teddy bear, IT professional who loves to camp, split wood, fly-fish, assemble things, work on our cars, fix things around the house. He has also earned enough through our 40 year marriage to provide during unexpected turns which prevented me from working.
I'm upset that Boy Scouts - probably the best resource for developing Classically Masculine boys/men - is no longer what it used to be. Men and women each need their own spaces.
Do we really need to encourage it? If boys are allowed to be natural, masculinity will manifest on its own. Maybe the real task isn’t to push them toward it, but simply to stop discouraging it
This is the best and most reasonable take. A complete middle ground.
60 years ago we went too far and forced masculinity too much, encouraging it too far. Recently it swung the other way to the point of actively discouraging it. I think you’re right, there’s a reasonable middle ground where if you just let boys be, that’s the ideal amount of encouragement since most will end up somewhat masculine anyway.
It also allows for boys who aren’t inherently masculine to be themselves too and it’s fine if a minority of boys are slightly more feminine in disposition. We should just let them be too.
Should we encourage our sons to be masculine? YES
Should we encourage our daughters to be feminine? YES
The second question should be debated, and in that debate we should investigate why some mothers put their daughters on the pill in their teens. Suppressing female fertility is a silent phenomenon that has not been fully evaluated.
Option 1: we encourage our sons to be masculine in a healthy way.
Option 2: we leave it to the punks and criminals to define masculinity--as we've been doing--and we reap the whirlwind.
Thanks for having me Louise, this was great. Please punish whoever edited that weird suit into the thumbnail.
I think mothers, fathers, and others in boys' lives need to make a clear distinction between Classic Masculinity and Toxic Masculinity.
Classic appeals to boys' and men's innate drive to protect, provide, achieve mastery, and be capable. My husband is a teddy bear, IT professional who loves to camp, split wood, fly-fish, assemble things, work on our cars, fix things around the house. He has also earned enough through our 40 year marriage to provide during unexpected turns which prevented me from working.
I'm upset that Boy Scouts - probably the best resource for developing Classically Masculine boys/men - is no longer what it used to be. Men and women each need their own spaces.