Oh, dear. I treasured this article because it reintroduced the idea that sex differences can be funny and add flavor to relationships. I am very old, and come from a time when no, or I guess, few, women would expect to be anything but mildly exasperated at male differences, and for the most part saw their differences as part of the charm…
Oh, dear. I treasured this article because it reintroduced the idea that sex differences can be funny and add flavor to relationships. I am very old, and come from a time when no, or I guess, few, women would expect to be anything but mildly exasperated at male differences, and for the most part saw their differences as part of the charm of being married. Men were expected to be as bewildered with living with a woman, but found the differences cute and funny. Somewhere in the depths of this Substack is a long response I gave to the subject of oppressed females of the past. Because I am very old, I got a real time ring side seat. I not only saw marriages in the ‘50’s, but through my grandparents and older relatives, saw marriages which formed just after the turn of the Twentieth Century. What I saw was early years old marriage were a shake down period, where there was conflict over who was going to get the last word in what area. There was no guarantee that the man would come out on top. It depended on the strength of will of the individual, and the accepted patterns, women having more say over the children, men over major purchases and job relocations. Because there was no ready exit route, eventually the couple would settle into a kind of peace, with room for humourus digs at each other to blow off steam. Yes, I saw a rabbit scared wife, with a bully for a husband. I also a relative who was real hell on wheels. We were all scared of her. Widowed,she was also greatly respected for being able to outwork anyone, and raising her daughter alone, until she remarried late in life, to a man who joined the rest of us in fear and respect. My life has been blessed with an annoying man who never puts anything back into the same place twice, which makes hunting for something you need an adventure every time. But we have helped each other over the rough spots in life, and so thoroughly enjoy our life together that we cannot imagine life alone. An elderly man whose wife had just died, described himself as feeling amputated. The long dance together of men and women, since we came down into the grasslands, is sometimes hilarious, sometimes deadly, and sometimes beautiful, but never simple.
I pity you. You accommodated yourself to oppression and mistreatment. Why should men get to make all the big decisions and leave the shit work — and that is what all housework is, tedious, exhausting, shit work — to women?
Men need to learn to listen to women. They do not.
Oh, dear. I treasured this article because it reintroduced the idea that sex differences can be funny and add flavor to relationships. I am very old, and come from a time when no, or I guess, few, women would expect to be anything but mildly exasperated at male differences, and for the most part saw their differences as part of the charm of being married. Men were expected to be as bewildered with living with a woman, but found the differences cute and funny. Somewhere in the depths of this Substack is a long response I gave to the subject of oppressed females of the past. Because I am very old, I got a real time ring side seat. I not only saw marriages in the ‘50’s, but through my grandparents and older relatives, saw marriages which formed just after the turn of the Twentieth Century. What I saw was early years old marriage were a shake down period, where there was conflict over who was going to get the last word in what area. There was no guarantee that the man would come out on top. It depended on the strength of will of the individual, and the accepted patterns, women having more say over the children, men over major purchases and job relocations. Because there was no ready exit route, eventually the couple would settle into a kind of peace, with room for humourus digs at each other to blow off steam. Yes, I saw a rabbit scared wife, with a bully for a husband. I also a relative who was real hell on wheels. We were all scared of her. Widowed,she was also greatly respected for being able to outwork anyone, and raising her daughter alone, until she remarried late in life, to a man who joined the rest of us in fear and respect. My life has been blessed with an annoying man who never puts anything back into the same place twice, which makes hunting for something you need an adventure every time. But we have helped each other over the rough spots in life, and so thoroughly enjoy our life together that we cannot imagine life alone. An elderly man whose wife had just died, described himself as feeling amputated. The long dance together of men and women, since we came down into the grasslands, is sometimes hilarious, sometimes deadly, and sometimes beautiful, but never simple.
I pity you. You accommodated yourself to oppression and mistreatment. Why should men get to make all the big decisions and leave the shit work — and that is what all housework is, tedious, exhausting, shit work — to women?
Men need to learn to listen to women. They do not.